What a Fucked Up Situation

I've read and heard many stories about mix-ups that resulted in some guy mistakenly having sex with another woman thinking that it was his wife. While sometimes entertaining, I've always considered those stories horseshit. I've found it humorous when someone is telling me such a story and they actually expect me to believe it. While not telling them to their face that they're liars I often ask some questions that seem light-hearted but tend to expose their fabrications.

"So this woman had a body exactly like your wife's? I've never heard of that before; most women have at least something different about the firmness of their ass, size of their tits, birth marks, distinguishing features, etc., that make them easy to tell apart," is one typical question I propound.

After a little stuttering the guy telling the whopper normally says something like "Well I was drunk so I didn't notice the difference at the time." Yet he was supposedly virile enough to get it up.

I especially like asking questions about what happened next. "So after you realized the mistake both you and the woman you thought was your wife agreed never to tell anyone about it and you ended up skating."

"Yep, that's right," was the normal smiling response as the guy stuck out his chest (or more often his beer gut).

"But you're telling ME," I would continue with a fake perplexed look on my face.

"Uh...geez...well...I know you won't tell anyone," is the typical reply and then the conversation is terminated or he changes the subject to something like "How about them Steelers?"

***********

I, Beck Randolph, am married to Mitzy Randolph nee Alton, and at the time of this story had been for ten years. We were both 34 and had two kids ages 5 and 7. Mitzy physique isn't particularly noteworthy although I find her attractive. She has an ass a little large for her 5 foot 5, 140 pound frame but since I like big butts I consider it a positive, not a negative. While to me she's cute and I have always found her sexually attractive she's not someone that the average guy would drool over. She normally wears her brunette hair short, but once-in-a-while she'll feel particularly adventurous and put extensions in her hair and put brown contacts in her blue eyes, which do tend to dramatically change her look.

We were in need of some time away from work and the kids -- who we love raising but they were challenging and we needed a break -- and since both sets of grandparents are within a twenty minute drive from our house we decided to take a three-day weekend without kids. The grandparents were willing to help, each set to spend two days at our house with the kids, which included an overlap of about twelve hours The overlap was no problem since my parents got along with Mitzy's very well and they didn't compete for their grandkids' attention.

On the Internet Mitzy found a theme weekend at a mountain lodge. It wasn't really a resort but rather a very large house that the organizer of the theme weekend rented out, along with a chef, a maid, and three college aged guys who worked as bellmen and servers. The theme was 1960s rock bands. Females had to dress like someone from The Pleasure Seekers, The Ronettes, The Ace of Cups, or Goldie and the Gingerbreads. Guys had to dress like someone from The Beach Boys, The Byrds, Blood Sweat & Tears, or Jefferson Airplane (or a woman could be Gracie Slick). People were encouraged to bring instruments and a set of drums and a sound system would be provided.

The weekend wasn't restricted to the guests acting like old-time rock bands, however; there was also a swimming pool, horseback riding, skeet shooting, dance lessons, and other many activities. Apparently the dress-up aspect was just to get people in a good mood.

Mitzy dressed up as Eileen Biddlingmeier of the Pleasure Seekers and I dressed up as Mike Love of the Beach Boys. Mitzy as Eileen looked great; I wanted to do her in the car (lol).

When we got to the Lodge there was already a happy group of about twenty people, all in costume. Mike Love was about the most normal looking of the people in the male rock bands involved but most of the guys had long wigs and mustaches and outrageous clothes. I carried a small surfboard as part of my "costume."

I was really proud of Mitzy. Although I knew nothing about The Pleasure Seekers before this trip I found out that they were all hot, wore distinctive short dresses and fake eyelashes when performing, and with her lashes, hair extensions, contacts, and skin-tight short dress she carried Eileen off very well.

By the time that it was about 11 p. m. on Friday night all thirty weekenders were there, and it was a fun group, various people taking turns on the drums, some dong karaoke with sound tracks playing of the groups that they were supposedly in, others mingling and drinking, and in general making merry.

The partying went well into early Saturday morning. Mitzy had had a particularly hard day getting ready for the trip so she turned in about 1 a. m. I had been drinking more than since college, but wasn't close to drunk; however I was getting turned on by a number of the female "rock artists" most of whom looked really good. They probably ranged in age from 25 to 50, but not a dog among them.

Finally about 3 a. m. things started to wind down and everyone was heading off to their room. A Paul Kanter (Jefferson Airplane) look-alike and a Steve Katz (Blood Sweat & Tears) wannabe were both drunk and passed out; many others were moving slowly.

Stupidly, in my view, instead of the rooms being numbered -- as would be sensible -- they all were named after mountains. The owner of the Lodge must have been a real freak because most of the mountains used as room names I had never heard of. They weren't simple or well-known like Everest or Denali. I swear that Mitzy had told us that our room was something like "Mana Peak" (which of course I had never heard of but seemed easy to remember).Since the bellmen had carried our bags directly to our rooms neither Mitzy nor I had been there until it was time for bed.

I walked around the entire second floor without finding the name. Fortunately the second room I came to on the third floor was Makra Peak, which made me think that I had just misheard her. I peeked in the room and saw her distinctive Pleasures Seekers short dress hanging up. I closed the door and tiptoed into the room. I needed a shower and shampoo and in the shower stall was a bottle of Herbal Essences Rose Hips Shampoo, one of Mitzy's favorites, which I assumed that she had brought from home.

I took a quick shower and shampoo and got into bed naked. It didn't surprise me that Mitzy was naked since although she normally slept with a long T-shirt on she had promised me that we were going to be having some big league fun without the kids.

Mitzy's back was turned to me in the pitch black room; I snuggled up to her and she seemed to unconsciously respond by moving her bulbous ass back into me. She smelled really good -- including because of the odor of the Rose Hips shampoo in her hair. I was a little confused by her hair being more than shoulder length until I remembered the hair extensions she put in yesterday to look more like Eileen.

Mitzy must have been hot to trot because she seemed to keep moving her ass into and around my crotch and my cock was responding. While I had more than usual to drink it didn't affect the ability of my cock to get hard, and soon it was at full salute. I kissed Mitzy's shoulder, rubbed her top arm as she lay on her left side, and my cock acted like a heat-seeking missile as it sought out her pussy.

Mitzy and I hadn't fucked in the spoon position for a long time -- I couldn't remember when although I knew that the last time was before our five year old was born -- but I did remember how great it was. This time brought back old wonderful memories. After a slow initial insertion into her surprisingly tight pussy in this position I was as animated as I could remember. I pumped furiously, encouraged by her muffled moans, until I heard her chirp, a sound that I hadn't heard from her before, as she was clearly orgasming while her pussy tried to strangle my cock. I grunted like a hog as I unloaded a stream of jism into her anxious pussy as the chirping continued until I was totally wasted.

I didn't withdraw right away and unlike my normal MO my cock didn't immediately go flaccid. I remained inside her and about three-quarters hard for several more minutes while we both made sweet sounds of pleasure. After a very long time I finally did go flaccid and withdrew.

As I bent over and kissed her on the neck and rubbed her arms my life flashed before my eyes when a high pitched voice said "Oh Alan; that was so awesome, darling. After a rest will you do me concubine?"

My name isn't Alan -- it's Beck -- and Mitzy has a raspy voice, not a high pitched one.

Suddenly all of the times that I had scoffed at stories about mistakenly fucking someone not your wife, thinking that it was her, came rushing into my brain. "What the fuck just happened?" seemingly endlessly caromed through my mind.

There was no way that I was going to let whoever the woman was who I had just fucked know it wasn't Alan. I continued to stroke her, eventually moving my hand onto her right tit trying to fool myself that it was just to keep her turned away from me. In actuality, however, stroking and lightly pinching her tit was very stimulating. While her tit wasn't much different in size than Mitzy's her nipple sure was. It felt like it was an inch long and had twice the sensitivity of Mitzy's.

After I kissed the mystery woman's neck some more and played with her nipple she started moving her bulbous ass back into contact with my cock. "Time to do your concubine," she chuckled in a sleepy tone, and then rolled onto her stomach and spread her legs slightly.

It was fortunate that I knew what the concubine position was from reading sex stories on line because Mitzy and I had never fucked that way. I'm often a one-and-done guy but given how erotic it was to massage her elongated and sensitive nipple, and how good it felt when she wiggled her ass against my cock, surprisingly I was back at full mast within seconds. This time when I plunged into her pussy I realized that it was much tighter than Mitzy's was, and why I had not recognized it in the spoon position I had no read good answer for.

I would never have intentionally cheated on Mitzy; but I convinced myself that I had to perform again to make sure that I wasn't discovered because I was certain that she would charge me with rape if she found out. Therefore, I sucked it up, and fucked with more alacrity than I could remember, resulting in debilitating orgasms for both of us.

I was still only half-conscious when I pulled my finally flaccid cock out of the mystery woman's snug pussy. I lay next to her and lightly rubbed her bare ass until I heard her start to snore. That was my cue to get the hell out of there.

I dressed quickly, opened the door only enough to slither out, and then started looking for Mana Peak wondering why the owner would be fucking stupid enough to name one room Mana Peak and another with the highly similar name Marka Peak. As I was starting down the hallway, however, I heard someone clomping up the stairs. I hid in a janitor's closet and peeked out. There was the drunk Paul Kanter wannabe stumbling, looking carefully at the room names. When he saw "Makra Peak" he entered, none too quietly. I hoped that it wasn't loud enough to wake-up the mystery woman -- obviously the Kanter wannabe's wife.

Once the door to Marka Peak closed I continued down the hall looking at room names. Mana Peak was the last one on the North side of the hall. When I entered there was Mitzy's slinky dress hanging up but I wasn't going to be fooled by just it. I looked around some more and found my distinctive suitcase off in a corner.

I took another shower -- with the same Herbal Essence Rose Hips Shampoo in the shower stall than in Marka Peak (I found out later that it was in all of the shower stalls at the Lodge). I snuck into bed -- again naked -- finding Mitzy also in the buff.

They say that the mind is the most powerful sex organ. That must be true in my case since I had never had three orgasms before in a two hour time period but I was so charged up from the A+ sex sessions with the mystery woman that my cock was again a piece of titanium after snuggling against Mitzy's ass for only a couple of minutes. Then just like my foray into Makra Peak I was soon fucking her in the spoon position for all that I was worth as she had a series of appreciative grunts -- not the chirps of the mystery woman that should have given her away.

After an extremely satisfying orgasm -- which Mitzy also clearly appreciated -- I fell into a deep sleep.

**********

The next morning Mitzy was in a great mood. She gushed about how much she had loved the middle-of-the-night fuck, something that we hadn't done in a long time.

My mood was more sedated, although I pretended to be as upbeat as Mitzy was. I didn't know exactly how I felt, or how I should feel, about last night. By the time that breakfast was over, and everyone was involved in other activities, I decided just to enjoy the feelings of euphoria from the phenomenal fucks of the mystery woman and purge myself of any guilt.

After breakfast I did try to figure out who the mystery woman was. Since people weren't in "costume" during the day -- everyone would change again that night -- I wasn't sure who the Paul Kanter wannabe was; the wife of the guy that looked most like him was at least five inches taller than Mitzy with an even bigger butt -- and also probably the best looking woman at the Lodge. I couldn't believe that she was who I mistook for Mitzy.

We had a great day outdoors, playing bridge with another couple, swimming, playing croquet, and lots of other things. When we re-dressed for dinner in our rocker costumes I finally got confirmation of who the mystery woman I had fucked was. She was imitating Arlene Quatro of The Pleasure Seekers, wearing the dress that I had seen hanging up in Marka Peak. It was a different color than Mitzy's dress, and had a few other subtle differences, too subtle for a clueless guy like me; plus the color difference wasn't enough to have been noticed in a dark room.

The Arlene Quatro look-alike was the woman who was at least five inches taller than Mitzy, and the best looking woman at the resort. Her name is Alice Thompson and her Paul Kanter wannabe husband's name is Alan Thompson. He was thirty years old, she was twenty six.

Since both Alice and Mitzy were dressed as Pleasure Seekers Mitzy and I sat next to Alan and Alice at dinner and had fun with them afterward. Mitzy and Alice seemed to really hit it off. I was embarrassed by my reaction to Alice, which was a stiff dick and a muddled brain.

There was lots of drinking again that night after dinner. I was trying to stay away from Alice, afraid that I would be caught ogling her, and not wanting to be caught with my cock tenting my pants. At one point after many guests were looped, I walked over to where Mitzy, Alice, and two Goldie and The Gingerbread wannabes were in intense, though light-hearted, discussion. I was able to surreptitiously move close enough to them to eavesdrop.

I actually wished that I hadn't eavesdropped. While there was something flattering said, it was also scary to the point of being terrifying. While I can't remember the exact words, I will never forget their essence. Alice: "Last night Alan gave me the two best fucks I can remember, and then completely insulted me by not remembering them the next morning. I know that he was drunk but my God, how can a guy not remember two great fucks, especially since I'm off birth control now and am in my most fertile part of my cycle. We were planning on conceiving this weekend and the boob can't even remember doing the job."

While Alice's words scared the shit out of me they had another strange effect. Inspired by Alice both Saturday and Sunday nights I fucked Mitzy when we first went to bed, and then again in the middle of the night, both middle of the night fucks in the concubine position which both of us now really loved and which we were sure to make a regular part of our sexual activities in the future.

When everyone was leaving Monday morning there were smiles all around. Everyone had had a great time. I was the most sexually satisfied I ever remember being, and Mitzy was literally glowing. However, I was scared at the same time. It didn't help that when Alice gave me a big hug goodbye I tented my pants so quickly and vigorously that it was a miracle that I didn't pop my zipper. I started sweating when she obviously noticed my reaction and got a really weird look on her face, but fortunately Mitzy intervened by giving her a big hug and I shook Alan's hand, and then got the hell out of there.

************

That weekend turned out to be the best thing ever for my sex life with Mitzy. We were much more adventurous after the weekend at the Lodge, much more passionate, and had sex much more frequently. Sometimes I felt a little guilty when fucking Mitzy in either the spoon or concubine positions because my mind went to thoughts of fucking Alice, but I was able to navigate through them without too much guilt.

One thing much more negative than positive lingered on after the weekend at the Lodge. Mitzy and I became Facebook friends with Alice and Alan and followed her pregnancy and delivery. I was very concerned when she delivered her little boy Colin almost exactly nine months after the Lodge weekend.

As I continued to follow Alice, Alan, and their little boy Colin (who was joined by a little brother Mason two years later) I became more and more concerned. At age four Colin looked like I did at that age. At age six, when Mason was four, Colin looked nothing like Mason. I kept hoping that Alice and Alan never had any reason to have a DNA test done on their kids.

I don't really know the reason for it and Mitzy never told me ahead of time, but at one point Alice asked Mitzy to post on Facebook photos of her and me when we were kids and Mitzy complied.

It was about six months after Mitzy posted our childhood photos on her Facebook page when she hit me with "I have good news."

"What, darling?" was my smiling reply.

"You remember Alice and Alan Thompson from our weekend at the Lodge, who we've both been following on Facebook. They're visiting our city a week from this weekend and I've invited them to stay with us for two nights -- since we've moved we have plenty of room."

Both Mitzy and I had gotten promotions, were making good money, and had recently purchased a six bedroom house.

"Wonderful, sweetie," I replied with my heart in my throat and with a sudden stomach ache.

************

The weekend that Alice, Alan, Colin, and Mason stayed at our house was the most stressful of my life for three reasons. 1) Alice was hotter than a firecracker -- even hotter than the weekend at the Lodge despite having birthed two children in the meantime -- with commensurate reaction by my traitorous cock; 2) I was afraid that Colin was my son; and worst of all 3) I was afraid that I would be exposed as Colin's father.

Not mentioned before; I'm six feet five inches tall, a foot (30 cm) taller than Mitzy but only six inches (15 cm) taller than Alice. Alice and Alan are virtually the same height at five foot eleven (maybe Alan is half an inch taller). I have blond hair and blue eyes; Alice has light brunette hair and blue eyes. Alan has black hair and brown eyes. Colin is in the 99th percentile of size for his age (7 at the time that they visited) and has blond hair and blue eyes. Mason has black hair and brown eyes and is of average size for his age.

I thought that I pulled off being nonchalant most of the weekend and it went OK for me, and great for everyone else; except for one thing.

I don't know how she managed it but at one point during the weekend Alice finagled for her and me to go to a convenience store together to get some ice and a few other items. The way there was no problem. Before we got into the car on the way back, however, Alice suddenly pulled from her purse a swab and vile of the type that you see on crime scene investigation shows on TV.

"I need something from you before we return, Beck," Alice said getting in my face with a diabolical smile on her face as she held up the swab.

"Uh, what's that?" I meekly and stupidly asked.

"You've seen CSI on TV, Beck, you know damn well what it is. I want a DNA sample and I'm not taking no for an answer. Did you really think that fucking me would have no consequences?"

I timidly gave her the sample.

The ride back was quiet except for her statement "If Colin turns out to be your son I have no intention of telling anyone; I'll just need your medical records in case they would have some relevance to his health in the future. You'll provide them won't you, Beck?" she queried with an even more diabolical grin than when she confronted me with the swab and vial.

"Why do you think that I might be his father?" I disingenuously inquired.

"You've got to be kidding; Alan doesn't remember fucking me the first night at the Lodge, your reaction around me is to get an instant hard-on, and Colin looks just like you. If you're his father are you sending me the medical records?" she snarled.

"Uh...OK, Alice," was my meek reply.

***********

Two weeks later Alice called me at my office. After brief small talk, in a sing-song (not mean) voice she said "I'll need those medical records, Beck; send them to me in a package marked 'Confidential' to my office, address..."

I did as asked, wondering how fucked up my life would become if Alice ever needed to use them.

At my office two weeks after I sent out my medical records I got a FedEx envelope marked "Confidential." When I opened it there were three 8 1/2 x 11 inch very clear color photos. The first one was Alice naked from the front with her hands on her hips. The second one was Alice naked from the rear with her head turned toward the camera and smiling. The third one was her lying on a bed with her legs spread, a contorted look on her face, and a dildo in her pussy. My cock instantly inflated and jammed into my zipper; it hurt like a sonofabitch.

The exchange of Confidential envelopes episode, combined with my memory of fucking Alice, had two predictable effects on me.. The first effect: I daydream about fucking Alice almost every day when I look at the photos she sent. The second predictable effect: I no longer scoff at stories about a guy mistakenly fucking someone he thought was his wife.